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KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO

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Hello beautiful people. Before I get to the deal of the day, I have to apologize for not writing anything for so so long. This yeye mind of mine *covers face*. I know I didn’t keep up but it is going to be much better I promise! Please forgive me ehn.

So it’s 2016, there’s so much “New Year, New Me” going on. This is not one of those, I promise. Ok scratch that, I am not promising but this is worth reading I hope.

Here we go…

I have a problem – I never know when to let go. I believe I am not alone on this, so I decided to share. This is what I mean: If I have made up my mind to help you, I can die coming through with that decision. I literally have no chill. And in time I have learnt that things work better between two or more people only when there is some form of communal agreement between the involved parties. Everyone involved has to make an effort no matter how little, else nothing will be achieved.
I mean, if you are trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped you will frustrate yourself and most likely make things worse in the end. Someone who does not want to be helped or who does not want to be seen as needing help, will do everything possible to prove his/her case.

You know how I love my examples, so let’s have an example.

Lola and I are ‘friends’, we are both flawed and one of the good things about friendship is being there for each other. If I am not leading a good life, my friend should tell me and advise me. If I am cultivating a bad habit, my friend should bring me to caution. That kind of thing. As friends, we should be able to speak the truth to ourselves. So Lola has her issues as I have mine. Being me, I don’t hold back when I notice an attitude that can be worked on or a habit that is becoming harmful because I would expect nothing less from my friend.

Lola is not like me in that regard. Seeing as we are all adults, she believes everyone can take care of herself. No one needs to be hand held or anything like that.

What happens in this kind of relationship? It rarely works.
At some point, Lola is going to think I am judgy or that I think I know it all and I am better than her. There would be friction.

I have been in situations like this and I always made the mistake of continually approaching my ‘friend’ with the hope that she would at some point, see things from my angle and act cautiously. I ended up making an enemy.

What did I learn? People that want your friendship will show you. They won’t make it hard for you. If they need you to keep pushing, you will know as well. It won’t be a struggle of deciding if he or she would take it personal or if you have talked too much.

When you notice a constant cold shoulder, that is when to let go.

When you start to sense withdrawal from the other party, don’t force it, that is when to let go.

When you have tried consistently to make things right with a friend or an acquaintance and there’s no result, please let go.

Those that appreciate the efforts you are putting in will let you know someway, somehow. If you don’t let go, you will drain yourself emotionally and psychologically. At this stage, depression might set in; all for what? Someone that doesn’t even notice your efforts.
Not to be blunt, but it’s not worth it.
Do your job as a friend (see what I did there), do as much as you can to help.

If it’s proving fruitless or draining you in anyway, pray about the situation. Let go and let God.
And I’m done expressing for now 😉
Thanks a lot for reading.
Please comment: express your views and opinions, I do not know it all and would really love to hear your thoughts.

-Moyo

A-T-4-G!

9 thoughts on “KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO

  1. Thanks for bringing this topic to light. Looking at it from the love perspective, i don’t think we should ever let go of the person. I’ll state my reasons below.

    In 1 Cor 13:4( the msg version) it says love never gives up and i believe that you correcting your friend is an expression of love. I’ve been made to understand that no matter how thick skinned one is, they cannot resist being loved on but the big question is how do we express our love and the love of God to them?
    Looking at the perfect love from the Father i could learn some things about genuine love, the Agape love that is all seeking and expects nothing in return.
    He loved us so much that he never let go of us but always tried to win us back to him even when we resisted His love and corrections several times he never gave up on us until eventually His love for us won us back to Him Rom 5:7-8 (msg). God being the master strategist had to strategize a way for his love to break through our resistance and reach out to us.
    You might say that we should let Go and let God but also realise that God doesn’t come down to love on the people anymore but He has put His spirit in us, and made us His legal representatives here on earth. So The HolySpirit expresses the God kind of nature which is the fruit of the Spirit which is summarized as Love through us. So He loves them through us.
    In conclusion, i suggest that instead of letting go, we let God express His love through us and rely totally on the HolySpirit to show us the right way. The problem is that we always rely on our logical ways of solving situations and forget that The HolySpirit has the permanent and perfect solution to whatever situation we are trying to solve. So let’s stop ignoring Him ,lets listen to him and yield to His instructions.
    let’s let go of our logical and flawed solution and let God give us His perfect and permanent solution and we’ll see it making a positive impact in our lives as well as the lives of our loved ones.

    1. I believe letting God also means letting go of all logical solutions or approaches we might have had or tried.
      As long as persevering doesn’t result in gradual self-destruction, not giving up or letting go achieves the goal intended.

      Thank you for taking the time to read and expressing your thoughts on this. Goes a long way 🙂

  2. It’s a beautiful article. As human beings, we always want to play the role of helper but sometimes to a fault. One thing that must be remembered is that some people are not ready for the change that we are trying to assist them in achieving. So no matter how much we try, they remain the same and fail to see the significance of the help being offered while we on the other hand, pout about the fact that the person we are trying to help is failing to make changes in their own life. Like you said, this is the time to let go and help the next person who needs it. So proud of you Moyo…

  3. Thanks cousin.
    It’s a strategy I have practiced over time. It keeps me sane because to keep on trying to make someone see things my way without results, is setting myself up for constant pain & complaints while the person may also begin to see me as ‘stress’.
    Thanks sweetie!

  4. This hits home, i can not count how many times i’ve learned to let go the hard way. I think it’s someone a majority of us have to experience at some point. Great article!

    1. True! Experience sure does wonders, you never completely get it till it’s happened to you.
      Thanks for reading dear ❤️

  5. Well written, and truth told. Though tough, sometimes it is best to let go and let God than trust in our own abilities to have the other parties see from our glasses.

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