Hello beautiful people. Before I get to the deal of the day, I have to apologize for not writing anything for so so long. This yeye mind of mine *covers face*. I know I didn’t keep up but it is going to be much better I promise! Please forgive me ehn.
So it’s 2016, there’s so much “New Year, New Me” going on. This is not one of those, I promise. Ok scratch that, I am not promising but this is worth reading I hope.
Here we go…
I have a problem – I never know when to let go. I believe I am not alone on this, so I decided to share. This is what I mean: If I have made up my mind to help you, I can die coming through with that decision. I literally have no chill. And in time I have learnt that things work better between two or more people only when there is some form of communal agreement between the involved parties. Everyone involved has to make an effort no matter how little, else nothing will be achieved.
I mean, if you are trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped you will frustrate yourself and most likely make things worse in the end. Someone who does not want to be helped or who does not want to be seen as needing help, will do everything possible to prove his/her case.
You know how I love my examples, so let’s have an example.
Lola and I are ‘friends’, we are both flawed and one of the good things about friendship is being there for each other. If I am not leading a good life, my friend should tell me and advise me. If I am cultivating a bad habit, my friend should bring me to caution. That kind of thing. As friends, we should be able to speak the truth to ourselves. So Lola has her issues as I have mine. Being me, I don’t hold back when I notice an attitude that can be worked on or a habit that is becoming harmful because I would expect nothing less from my friend.
Lola is not like me in that regard. Seeing as we are all adults, she believes everyone can take care of herself. No one needs to be hand held or anything like that.
What happens in this kind of relationship? It rarely works.
At some point, Lola is going to think I am judgy or that I think I know it all and I am better than her. There would be friction.
I have been in situations like this and I always made the mistake of continually approaching my ‘friend’ with the hope that she would at some point, see things from my angle and act cautiously. I ended up making an enemy.
What did I learn? People that want your friendship will show you. They won’t make it hard for you. If they need you to keep pushing, you will know as well. It won’t be a struggle of deciding if he or she would take it personal or if you have talked too much.
When you notice a constant cold shoulder, that is when to let go.
When you start to sense withdrawal from the other party, don’t force it, that is when to let go.
When you have tried consistently to make things right with a friend or an acquaintance and there’s no result, please let go.
Those that appreciate the efforts you are putting in will let you know someway, somehow. If you don’t let go, you will drain yourself emotionally and psychologically. At this stage, depression might set in; all for what? Someone that doesn’t even notice your efforts.
Not to be blunt, but it’s not worth it.
Do your job as a friend (see what I did there), do as much as you can to help.
If it’s proving fruitless or draining you in anyway, pray about the situation. Let go and let God.
And I’m done expressing for now 😉
Thanks a lot for reading.
Please comment: express your views and opinions, I do not know it all and would really love to hear your thoughts.